Honey, where’s the money?

By axio

It’s the season to celebrate love, but one of the most unpleasant things about being in love is the reality check you get when it comes to managing finances as a couple. Is it my money, or our money? Is your money not our money? Do I need someone telling me I’m spending too much on useless stuff? Or can I tell someone to get a grip on their shopping sprees?

If you’ve been lucky enough to find someone to be by your side for the rest of your life, it helps to take a step back and really think about the change. 

Like everything else, there’s a better way to manage your money as a couple without letting stress and cynicism creep in. Let’s start this journey of making your money “our money” and being comfortable with it with a few simple yet worldly tips.

A couple of nitwits or a couple of smarties?

1. Spill the Beans: Lay It All Out

The first and foremost secret to making it as a couple is to speak freely and communicate. Likewise, when it’s time to open that joint account, make sure your communication channels are clear and approachable. 

Tell your partners exactly what your financial situation is. Talk about the debts you’re repaying, assets you have, how much you make, how much you save, what your responsibilities and commitments are, and how you have imagined managing money in this so-far amazing relationship.

Let there be no secrets now to negate the possibility of surprises later. Trust, ladies and gents, is the final test of your bond.

2. Dream a Little Dream: Discuss Money Goals

Everyone’s got dreams and goals with their money. Does becoming an official, financially involved couple mean you have to let go of those dreams and goals? We’d hope not. Chat about your money goals, whether it's saving for a trip, buying a house, or just having a solid emergency fund. Knowing what you're both aiming for sets the stage for a budget that actually works.

3. The Power of Together: Consider a Joint Account

Okay, not to get all serious, but having a joint account can make life simpler. Pool money for shared expenses, bills, and groceries. 

Now that you’ve decided to be a couple and appear as if you’re joined at the hip in everything you do, maybe it’s time to bring in that closeness in how you access that shared money. 

It might sound weird to younger ears, but a joint account is a great way to make life simpler when earning and spending as a couple. It's like having a financial team huddle without the unnecessary drama.

4. Divide and Conquer: Split Financial Responsibilities

In 2024, equality and equity are the norm. As a couple in 2024, that means an equal and practical workload on your finances.

Couples splitting recurring financial responsibilities like budgeting, bill paying, investment decisions are said to have fewer splats and arguments. It's teamwork without the forced team-building exercises.

5. Reality Check: Regular Financial Check-Ins

Just like your favorite TV show, your finances need regular check-ins and reviews. This is an exercise to periodically make sure everyone is on the same page.

Schedule those financial reviews, celebrate the wins, and tweak your budget when needed.

Down-to-Earth Finances for Different Couples: Real Talk

Now that we've got our practical hats on, let's take a second to actually think about the different types of couples. Since love has no standard definition, we took it upon ourselves to share tips according to if it’s a marriage, live-in relationship, or an unlabelled love that needs pooling monies.

1. The Hitched Harmony: Married Couples

Alright, married folks, first, let's get real about needs vs wants.

Everyone’s got the voice in their head that debates on what we need and what is a ‘want’.
As a couple, it’s even more crucial to make sure you’re thinking practically about what you need, what you want, how you’re going to get it or why it’s going to need some planning.

Sure, that spa weekend might be a want, but budgeting for it makes it a doable want.

And about those dream vacations? Joint savings accounts are made exactly for stuff like this.

Down-to-Earth Tip: Make room for fun without the financial guilt. A fun fund isn't just fancy words; it's a practical way to keep the good times rollin' within your budget.

Now, let's talk about those date nights.

Date nights are a crucial part of being a couple, but it helps to share what kind of dates you can spring for given your current financial situation. 

It doesn't always have to be about candlelit dinners that cost a small fortune. Get creative – cook together, have a picnic in the park, or binge-watch your favorite shows. The key is enjoying each other's company without breaking the bank.

Speaking of banks, let's talk about investments. 

Diversify, like you're building a buffet plate. Stocks, bonds, real estate – spread it out. According to the Federal Reserve, couples who invest together have a better shot at hitting those financial goals. But hey, don't go blind – get some expert advice. It's like having a financial GPS – you may know the general direction, but a little guidance doesn't hurt.

And credit – the unsung hero or villain of your financial love story. Check your credit scores regularly. If you're married, consider sharing a credit card for joint expenses. But for the love of financial stability, communicate openly about spending habits. It's like having a financial prenup – no surprises.

Down-to-Earth Tip: Keep individual credit cards too. It's not about secrecy; it's about maintaining financial independence.

2. The Dynamic Duo: Live-In Couples

So, you're not officially hitched, but you're still in it for the long haul? Splitting bills and rent equally – it's the unspoken rule. And date nights? The same logic applies. 

Down-to-Earth Tip: Open a joint savings account for shared goals. It's not a grand gesture; it's just smart planning for that future pet or a cozy shared space.

Now, let's talk about those everyday expenses. Who's responsible for what? Divide and conquer. Maybe one person handles groceries while the other tackles utilities. It's like a chore chart but for grown-ups. Just make sure the workload feels fair, so there's no resentment bubbling under the surface.

And what about the future? Discuss your goals openly. Whether it's buying a house or starting a business, align your aspirations. It's like having a shared GPS – you might take different routes, but you're heading in the same direction.

Investing – it's not rocket science. Diversify your investments like you're picking toppings for a pizza. Spread the risk, folks. A Federal Reserve report says couples who invest together are more likely to hit those financial goals. It's like the buddy system but for your money.

Down-to-Earth Tip: Get some expert advice on investments. It's like having a financial GPS – you may know the general direction, but a little guidance doesn't hurt.

3. Long-distance Partners

Distance can be tough on any relationship and its finances. Questions arise even before the distance is created. How do you know if your dependent partner has enough? If both members earn, do you take care of your own lives?

Again, coming out and communicating about all the inefficiencies of the process, making note of true needs and wants, and efficient planning can ensure a healthy relationship. 

Establish a budget for both sides, split the responsibilities, and build trust in the process as well as your partner's fiscal sense.

4. Joint Family Couples

Navigating the financial dynamics of a joint family can present unique challenges, but with patience and collaboration, you can find a harmonious balance. Clearly define financial responsibilities and expectations, whether it's splitting household expenses or contributing towards children's education and activities.

Foster open communication and mutual respect within the family unit. Regular family meetings can provide a forum to discuss financial matters, address concerns, and celebrate achievements together. By working as a team, you can build a strong foundation for your shared future.

5. Empty Nesters

Ah, the sweet serenity of an empty nest! With the kids pursuing their own adventures, it's time for you and your partner to focus on your own. Financially, this might mean reassessing your budget now that you're no longer supporting dependent children. Consider redirecting funds towards retirement savings, travel, or hobbies you've long put on hold.

Embrace this newfound freedom by exploring new activities together. Whether it's taking up a new sport, attending classes, or traveling to exotic destinations, use this time to deepen your bond and rediscover yourselves as a couple.

Credit Comrades: Navigating the Credit Seas

Credit can be a valuable ally for couples across various stages of their financial journey. For married couples, establishing joint credit accounts can help build a shared credit history and streamline financial management. 

Live-in couples can leverage credit responsibly to achieve shared goals, such as purchasing a home or starting a business together. 

Empty nesters may find that maintaining good credit enables them to enjoy their newfound freedom by qualifying for travel rewards or securing low-interest loans for retirement ventures. 

Long-distance partners can use credit to facilitate visits and maintain their connection, while joint family couples can utilize credit strategically to support their blended household expenses and investments. 

Regardless of their circumstances, couples can harness the power of credit as a tool for realizing their shared dreams and aspirations while navigating the complexities of modern finances together.

Down-to-Earth Tip: Keep individual credit cards too. It's not about secrecy; it's about maintaining financial independence.


There you have it – a no-nonsense guide to navigating finances with your partner. No need for fancy moves or over-the-top theatrics. Just good ol' practical tips to keep your financial ship sailing smoothly.

So, grab your partner's hand, share a laugh about your money goals, and face the financial world together – because in this practical play of life, your love story is the leading act.